By Frank Hyde
Who needs a beauty saloon or a tattoo parlour when you can just hangout in the sun. Here’s why:
1. First, why lizards like the sun. Don’t they need special SPF to protect them? Unlike us, they are not in it for the tan or, hmm, companionship. It gets them going in other ways, and is healthier for them.
2. Too much sun for the skin? No problem for a lizard! Their skin sheds or moults for the new skin to grow so no need for expensive and time-consuming beauty parlour stops. Lizards would rather have fun in the sun. More on that later. They just ditch that old tired looking skin and get a new young and glowing look while on the go.
3. They also don’t need any fancy and smelly hair colour changes or painful tattoos. They can just change their look (colour and skin pattern) when, well, whenever they feel like it! Not only that, if they are feeling a little dissatisfied with their fancy end they can just ditch it. That’s right if the shape isn’t suitable for the situation “off it goes” and a new one grows in its place. No need for the expensive south American trips for the BBL! Just in case you are like me and don’t follow the latest in beautification surgery.
4. Most of the time lizards are plenty happy with just warming up their bodies for a fun day ahead but in the spring, they are a bit more focused on, shall we say, sun time play mates.
5. Lizards don’t need bodyguards when out there soaking up sun. They can smell with their eyes closed, after all who wants to open their eyes when you are catching some glorious rays. That is unless they are out there to catch something more than just a snack and a tan if you know what I mean (more on that later). They use their tongue to smell just like snakes do. So there is no stress to know when you are relaxing in the sun if the one approaching is the taco vendor or someone with a corny pickup line! How handy is that!
6. If some pesky pickup artist is a bit too bothersome, lizards can blow up their body that is armoured with spikes and if that suitor is really too determined they can shoot blood from their eyes. That should get the point across to even the most clueless beach cruiser!
7. If there is nobody that suits around their sunny spot for some fun play and a few kids, no worries they just have a few kids on their own, no need to settle for a substandard deadbeat breeding partner.
8. Lizards live everywhere in the world except for Antarctica. After all who to heck goes to Antarctica to hang out in the sun!!!